Chapter 2

Day 104: I still have no idea what to pack with me. One of the most monumental, ground-breaking events since the invention of 3-ply toilet paper is about to take place, and all I worry about is if I should pack my “nice” itchy sweater or the “average” itchy sweater. I guess you could say I am nervous about the trip. But, I mean, so many preparations have taken place: The team determined that the MINDS are hospitable beings, and Major Lee Der jumped to the occasion and announced to the world our departure.
Lots of days of training ensued… and then twice as many just to be sure: from the classical 0 gravity simulations to spacesuit workouts (imagine your favorite fitness video featuring 8 snowmen) and hours of practicing with our experts in communication to ensure we don’t call any MINDS’ mother a “pompous limping chicken.”

We also…* Beep beep * Oh, thank goodness! The latest fuel module tests are back. The spaceship manages to retain fuel well and even recharges part of it as it runs due to its hydraulically accelerated cooling system and the suspension turbine whic… * clears throat * We had to take a quiz on that so… So it’s going well… the spaceship that is going to transport us out in the atmosphere, across our solar system, and through a black hole should be passing its tests… Will it even be sweater weather there, anyway? (edited)

Note to self: do not trust the space food laboratory, people, again. No matter how many times they said they improved the recipe: Astronaut ice cream is a no.

***

* Major Lee Der’s voice can be heard in the background *
This is it. It is finally the day. No more waiting. The MINDS are about to receive visitors as quickly as, well, we’re not 100% sure. Ben called the latest calculations mathemaybes. He is not a funny man, but it takes more than a room of already awkward scientists becoming even more awkward to stop Ben from making puns. Man, I’m nervous! I think my heart beats so hard, you can see my ears flapping around. Deep breaths… deep breaths… Did I get everything? We have supplies, medical stuff, equipment, and project resources; I brought my books, toothbrush, various Earth money to exchange with their currencies, socks, and a clearly not-working-too-well deodorant. Oh no! Oh, no, no, no, no! Wait, I forgot my…

  • Loud speaker * : T minus 3,2,1

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